Thursday, March 7, 2013

City Life.

photo by Hedi Slimane

Doing my project, working in a group of 3, My friend/coworker gave me an unexpected reply on basic question "what should I do for the project", "do what ever you prefer and like", told she. Here everything began...

What do I prefer? What do I actually like. Following my everyday tasks and following the idea of total success I realized that I actually completely lost myself, or maybe I never found me really. When I was young, analyses of some philosophical theories have given me a clear idea of the world, which I followed up till the moment I forgot what I was following. Complete change of countries, and therefore societies, has forced me to change and adapt myself the way I was. I canceled my roots and became a new person, but in this case it was unfondumental way of doing it. Lets say I was building my new personality on the air, attaching myself to things and rules I had to follow, I was depended on people, which I guess were important at that moment. I felt comfortable when I had a frames around me, I liked when people were telling me what to do and how to do it even if it is completely not my personality as I am very opinionated and stubborn character. Probably I was learning and adapting myself to rules without changing myself but loosing me on the way. I still kept my priorities, I was abscessed with boing things right and perfect, but what is actually right? Even writing this post now I have a thought that I better work on my project in stead of go philosophical and what's worst not finding a reply, and instead, coming up with a millions of other questions. 
Human is been done to believe in something: plenty of religions, choose the one you like, world has a wide selection; science and politics; space and gravity, what else? you.... you can believe in yourself... Otherwise human mind can go too far which will cause complete madness... But what is maddens itself? Do we know what is actually right or wrong? Paulo Coelho actually asked the same question to readers of his book "Veronika Decides to Die". According to his theory there is no right or wrong, something what everyone considers to be wrong actually can be right. And there is no proper definition of what is right and wrong? I know, thats completely loose of mind... and it's hard to follow. But indeed what if we ask all this questions? Completely philosophical activity to go crazy and loose yourself, or actually find yourself eventually.

We live with a life instructions which you can follow day by day or not. But what if thats all is completely wrong... And we actually should be free in our mind to do whatever we want. Ok, the idea is great, but it will cause a complete chaos. We, as humans in current society, are meant to be in a frame: life rules, society rules and regulations, family which has a certain requirements and expectations. So in a way we are meant to be the one which society expect us to be, or just choose to be against and follow yourself no mater what by breaking rules and stereotypes. I am, as down to earth mind holder, getting scared on how far it can actually go...

I alway call life as a beautiful City,

big or small, depends on you, with streets and districts with beautiful shops and restaurants, and once you are born and learned how to walk and talk, you start a long way of your life. Walk day by day on a street which have given you your parents, the one you never walked before, you don't know what is going to be next, who you are going to meet, is there going to be something positive or negative. But still you walk, if you stop, well thats a pause you need, but you don't see what's next, only some view, and you'll be sure only once you continue your walk. Naturally street can not be just a straight line, you have lots of choices to turn right or left or keep going straight or stop for a while to think which direction to take. Sometimes it's good to think or sometimes it's good just go forward. And, of course, on your way you meet people and possessions you like or you don't, but anyway they set your mood and eventual preferences. You choose with who you want to walk by some of them are just strangers or some of them are people who walk close by and just happy to walk all the way with you, becoming a person of your life, so you experience your way together, there are people who walk by for some time but later take the other direction and walk away, sometimes they suddenly return to you or never getting chance to find you once again, sometimes the way is lonely and other time you do it with a big group of people... Isn't it amazing? Of course there are some rules you have to accomplish and accept such us work, duties etc. But still each person is the one to choose which street to take, when to turn and when to stop, to choose, if it's better to walk fast or slowly step by step, some people wander around to find the right direction or a street which brings you where you hope to be... Allegorizing this life I see the purpose of it as curiosity. So you search and find... maybe through a certain block you can come up to a nice beautiful park full of roses which will let you rest, but all the sudden get sick of it and continue to walk.
With a time you choose districts you like, you hate, the one which better do not go to, or the one you want to be in, so those blocks are definitely attractive to others, so you got to be smart and fast to get your spot on it. That gives you a clear idea (or almost clear, if you still wander) which streets you want to visit daily and which you better never see. But still you choose it and you decide which direction to take. And still no matter which street you walk, still can never know what is going to happen next, but at least you can understand in which direction it goes and might hope that what you expect is somewhere there ahead. But there are always an option to turn, though sometimes you have to walk through some part which has no options to switch or just the other streets doesn't attract you, so you keep walking straight until the moment you find the right one to turn. Again you have an option to turn back, but remember you can not erase something what you already have walked and have seen and once you turn back it will be the same way you have already experienced, so loose a chance of new experiences, but anyway walking back you can take a turn which you haven't done before and once again you are on a new track but if some turns are in the past and already too far, so you will have to accomplish a long way back to find this street again.
The most interesting thing that you can even choose to build those streets or arrange and design them and so in this case other people will walk on them as well as you do, they might like them or not, but since you have built them, it's hard to remove, only once it's been destroyed and remade.

The only trick you have to accomplish is to choose yourself the streets you walk and directions you take... And if you are able to do so, you should be a very happy person.

Definitely spring is coming, because It is scientifically approved that highest rate of personal and social madness is during the spring. Or this just can be called a research of directions or a new beginning.
Can be continued since the spring is only started.

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